Tag Archives: Channel 4

Beautiful!

3 May

Kayvan Novak known  as the man behind the voices of his TV hit Fonejacker has graced our televisions again.

Kavan no longer has the safety of hiding behind a phone line to outtake his prank calls. Facejacker allows Novak to go the next step and with the help of  prosthetic masks he can morph himself into a range of characters. The masks mean that Kayvan is unleashed into the real world to come up close and personal with the public. The series have already seen car salesman Terry Tibbs do Come dine with me, Augustus Kwembe beeping behind a Morrisons counter and Brian Badonde giving his opinion as an art critic.

The first 3 episodes have had me in stitches and I’ve found myself repeating phrases such as “How many bacon rolls are you wantings sir” and “BOH” (which is maybe not a good thing). Facejacker is a upgrade of Fonejacker and so far I’m loving it! As Terry Tibbs would say “Beautiful!”

Catch Facejacker on Friday’s at 10pm on Channel 44od or check out Youtube for some classic clips!

Story time – Sunshine

28 Mar

The other day after watching One born every minute on Channel 4 a short story idea came into my mind. It probably needs a lot of polishing, but this is how the first draft turned out:


The warmth of the sun peeps under the blinds as I lay waiting for Jake to awaken. He was late home from work last night so I decided to wait for him. It must have been past 2 when he came home, he slowly undressed and climbed into bed, laying next to me and slowly stroking my head. I didn’t stir. I didn’t fall asleep for about an hour because his intricate breathe kept me awake.

Jake and I have been going strong for 3 years now; I knew straight away we were well matched. His kindness overwhelmed me and it was clear he thought the world of me and me of him.

“Darling, how long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” I lied

The truth was I hadn’t slept well last night at all.

It has been over a year since I lost my first baby- Sunshine- but Jake preferred me calling her baby. I knew straight away when I was pregnant, my stomach had a different firmness to it and slight twinges made my body feel weak. 3 months passed and Jake had driven me to have my scan. The memory is vivid in my mind like it was yesterday. The doctor’s face turned pale as she frantically ran the ultrasound apparatus across my stomach.

“Wait here,” she said

Jake’s clench on my hand became clammy as his grin turned upside down. The wetness of his hand scared me. The doctor returned with another person- their face blurred and distorted. My mind became blank and Jake’s grip on me was lost as the numbness of my body took over me.

Her face screwed up as my numb body studied her facial expressions.

“Sorry,” she whispered

The coldness of my tears turned my body to ice contrasted with my throbbing hand where Jake clenched it so tight.

I didn’t leave our house for nearly a week, I couldn’t face the outside world- the sun rays. I often sat in her room, the soft lemon of the walls helped to soothe my mind. I often stared at myself in the mirror, studying the expressionless look that overwhelmed my face. The gap at the bottom of the blind often allowed the sun to poke through.

Things were different now; I had learnt to accept the hurt that over took my heart. I felt lost but it was if I had started to find myself again. Jake is a gem he helped me through my hurt.

Jake watched me as I peed on the stick, his blue eyes widened and I could sense his nervousness. I left the stick on the side before dipping into the bath that had been run for me.

The bubbles in the water caressed my body as I plunged into the water; a shiver ran through me as a single tear streamed down my cheek. It was the first time I had cried since her. The morning sun peeped through the open crack of the window. A cold breeze accompanied the sun and froze the tears as they slowly and simultaneously ran down my cheek.

The door handle turned and Jake poked his head round the door, his smile sending a sudden twinge through my body.

“Shall I?” he asked

I slowly lifted my legs, grabbing my hand around my knees as my body shrunk into a ball. I hadn’t been able to feel like this before.

Jake sat on the rim of the bath next to me, and slowly picked up the test- a twinge forced my body into spasm as the bath water rippled around me.

“You’re pregnant darling- we’re having a baby.”

The twinge struck again, as strong as a lightning bolt from the top of my body to my toes- It felt right this time- real- I thought as I clenched my smooth, firmed stomach. Jake clenched me in his arms as a final tear ran down my cheek.

“Let’s go out and celebrate, get some lunch or something, it’s a nice day and the sun is shining.”

“Sounds perfect,” I said smiling.